Miniskirts and Men
by melmel12129
Summary: "From today, all female personnel in the military are required to wear miniskirts. Any fail to do so will result in a heavy fine. That day, Fuhrer Roy Mustang was going to get HELL." No, seriously. Worse than hell. After all, wasn't there an adage like, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?" Yup. Watch out, Mustang! But who will be the REAL winner? Hawkeye or Mustang? T/kissing.


**melmel12129: Another fanfic! YAAAAAY!**

**Riza: *Looks down* Seems like you invaded my privacy again, Mustang. Prepare to die.**

**Edward: Shoot him! Shoot him! Shoot him! **

**(melmel12129: Jeez. You magically appeared again.)**

**Mustang: *girlish scream* AAAAHHHHH! DON'T HURT ME!**

**melmel12129: Hey! You can't kill him yet! He has to finish the story still!**

**Mustang: Yeah! Ha!**

**Riza: After?**

**melmel12129: After you can do whatever you want. But keep him alive. I need him for my next Royai.**

**Mustang: melmel12129 doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist, never will, but she wants to, but again, she never will…**

**melmel12129: What's with the long disclaimer?**

**Mustang: Well…if I drag it out, I won't get shot sooner, right?**

**Riza: …dream on… Anyways! Continue on!**

* * *

"Join my miniskirt army!"

"NEVER!"

"DO IT! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR!"

"Sir. Do. Your. Paperwork. NOW."

"JEEZ! WOMAN! THAT BULLET HIT MY BEAUTIFUL GLOSSY HAIR!"

"Shut up. Get in your chair this instant."

"Humph. You'll regret it when I become Fuhrer."

-Years Later-

"Congrats, man," Havoc smiled at Colonel Mustang-no now Fuhrer Mustang.

"Cheers," another man dressed in the blue military uniform called out.

Mustang smirked. And whispered into Havoc's ear.

"Hell yes! I will follow you to the ends of the earth!" Havoc crowed with delight.

* * *

-Next day-

"WHAT THE FRICK!" the normally cool and placid Riza Hawkeye stared at the notice in her hand.

It read:

_From today, all female personnel in the military are required to wear miniskirts._

_Any fail to do so will result in a heavy fine._

That day, Fuhrer Roy Mustang was going to get HELL.

Riza begrudgingly put on the small, PINK, GLITTERY, miniskirt that the notice had come with.

She stormed into the office that she and the Fuhrer shared, hell bent on giving Mustang a taste of her mind.

Only to find that the Fuhrer was not only neglecting his paperwork, but instead drooling at the various miniskirted girls lined up in his office.

"ROY MUSTANG GET YOUR ASS IN THAT CHAIR AND REPEAL THE MINISKIRT ACT!" Riza cried with a vengeance.

Her hands paused at her belt, which she had somehow gotten on over the miniskirt.

And...there in her belt...was her gun. She took it out.

Mustang looked at Riza appreciatively and smirked, "Never, my dear. As you can see…all the men here are backing me up," and true were his words.

Every man in the place, including Fuery, were standing by Mustang, clearly loving the new rule.

In response to Riza's threat, there were a hundred more against her.

She was outnumberd.

Uh-oh...

But Mustang should've known...hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

"Girls, let's get out of here," Riza snapped and walked away, while Mustang looked on.

Well, let's just say, most girls in the military were NOT happy with wearing miniskirts, and more than happily followed Riza.

"Girls, we have to capture and defeat every single male behind Mustang, then tie up Mustang and force him to repeal the act," Riza stated.

"Nah, I like it just fine," A blond-haired girl said with an unnaturally high pitched voice.

You know, the type of voice when stupid guys try to impersonate girls? Yeah, that kind.

On second glance, that girl had…what, a blond braid, gold eyes, was very short, and had a silver pocket watch.

"Shri- FULLMETAL. Get. out," Riza snarled, placing her trigger-happy hands on her gun.

Edward's eyes widened at being caught, and decided to scram before any bullets hit his *spot*.

So worried was he about "Hawk's Eye's" unnatural accuracy with a firearm that he forgot to scream about being a "super ultra hyper shrimp that was so miniscule that an ant almost stepped on him."

But, sadly for our favorite shorty, Ed, he was soon captured and disposed of.

That meant he was tied up so he couldn't tell anyone of their plan.

That fullmetal shrimp was damn fast when he wanted to be.

The women moved out, Riza at the head.

After throwing the tied up package into the room and hearing an "OW!" Riza lead the group on.

Soon, only Mustang was left. Yep, don't underestimate the girls.

In the corner of the room, Havoc was struggling, tied up.

In another corner of the room, Breda was sulking with string wrapped around his body.

Men were everywhere, tied up and forgotten, stuffed in empty cabinets, sitting on the ground, on top of shelves...etc.

The women surrounded Mustang, each holding if not various weapons of some sort, an item, a _metal_ item.

"Repeal it," the Major Ross commanded. "Or face torture."

Mustang smirked. "No."

Riza stepped out. Her itchy hands grabbed at the chance to pull the trigger.

Fortunately for Mustang, the bullet whizzed right past him…and tore a hole in his spank new uniform.

"Damn you!" Mustang held his arm, where his blue uniform was torn.

"Damn us. Now, I won't miss next time," Riza advised. "So you'd better get acting."

Mustang backed up, scooting his chair backwards. He was trapped in Halizak's Prison. The walls were closing in on him fast.

"Fine," Mustang said, not wanting to face the wrath of _that_ woman scorned. "But kiss me first."

Riza looked out desperately, looking for a way out. Finding none, she stepped forward.

"Don't think anything of this," she warned softly, her tones betraying murderous intent.

Mustang smirked. Before he could reply, he was grabbed into a short kiss.

Riza _wanted_ to pull away. But she couldn't. Mustang had snaked his hands around her waist, sneaky bastard.

But Riza no longer minded. Her thoughts, before her mind went incoherent? _'This…feels…too…damn…good…shit!'_

Mustang finally pulled away, leaving a melted Riza Puddle in front of him. He smirked again. He had bested a fury greater than Hell. JOY!

"VICTORY IS MINE!"

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**All done! Review, if you would…please…**

**-melmel12129**


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